The Paradox of Comparison

Comparison.

We all know it's the game you can never win. It's a game without a winner. 

We know its bad for our sanity, our happiness, and our humility. Yet, most of us are addicted to it. We play it again and again and again. It doesn't matter how many times we lose, we keep playing the same game over and over and expecting a different outcome. Hoping to 'win' so that maybe we will feel better about something. Or maybe we keep playing because we are looking for a reason to explain why we feel so terrible.

I don't know. But I know that I play this game far too much. And I always lose.

We compare everything in life. Our looks, our possessions, our families, our situations, our abilities, and even our levels of spirituality. And the list doesn't end there.

Some people fool themselves into thinking that they sometimes win the comparison game. I know I've been fooled before. If you think your winning the game, it's only because there's someone else out there who you haven't compared yourself to yet.
Comparison is the only game that is won by simply not playing it.

There is such paradox in comparison.

At least there is for me.

A couple examples....

If I compare my looks to someone who I feel looks better than myself, then I feel bad about myself and wish I looked better. So if I compare myself to someone who I feel looks worse than myself, I should feel better right? Wrong. Instead I wish that I hadn't done my hair, or put on makeup, or been so vain, and I still end up feeling bad about myself.

If I compare my living situation (house, belongings, budget, etc) to someone who I think has a better living situation than me, I feel bad about myself and my situation and I get depressed. So if I compare myself to someone who I feel like is in a worse living situation than me (as in I think I have a nicer couch, cuter house, more money being spent), then I should feel better right? Still wrong. Instead I feel bad for caring about my living situation, I feel worldly and prideful. I still end up feeling horrible.

Either way, I lose. Either way, I feel bad, and my happiness decreases. And all simply from thoughts that only exist in my head.

Obviously I could write a million more examples of how to lose the comparing game. But we'll stop there.

It's the age old saying, you don't have to put someone down to feel better about yourself. And oddly enough, most of the time you'll put them down and drag yourself down even further.

To go up, you have to raise others up and go up with them. Or raise yourself up and bring them with you. And you can't do that by comparing.

I don't know a magical solution for comparing. I don't know how to stop it. I've been trying to stop it for years, and I'll keep trying, even if I don't always succeed.

It's the game I'm going to learn how to win because it's the game I'm going to unlearn how to play. 

Side note: This rambling makes me think about pride. So many people think they aren't prideful because they lift others up by putting themselves down. But that is still a form of pride because you are still focusing on yourself. You're only humble when you stop thinking about yourself so much, in good or bad ways. Probably my solution to stop comparing too, stop thinking so much of myself.