For My Fellow Females

I was raised to believe I could do anything, become anything I wanted to be. I was raised to believe in myself, in my abilities, in my own power, in my own strength. Growing up, I never felt like there were options not available to me because I was girl. I was raised to believe that I could do anything a man can do (occupationally), and I still believe that's true.

While growing up I knew that someday I would go to college, get at least a Bachelor's degree, perhaps a graduate degree, and then I could have an awesome career if that was something I chose to do. I never doubted that these were things I could, and would, do. When I was in college and things were crazy with a million deadlines, difficult concepts I struggled to understand, and exams that pushed my intellectual limits, I never doubted that I could accomplish what I needed to. I never doubted my abilities because my whole life I grew up being told and knowing that I could do these things. I had been ingrained with a strong belief in myself, and in all the things I was capable of doing in the world. Of course, I'm grateful for this belief, because it helped me get through college, and I expect it will help me get through many more things in life as well.

Oddly enough, I now find myself doing the one thing that I grew up knowing I would do, but receiving the least encouragement from society to do and receiving the fewest reminders from those around me that it was something I could do. While growing up I knew that someday I would have children, be a mother, and raise kids. But I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be. For how much selflessness it would demand. It was the first time in my life that I ever completely doubted myself, doubted my abilities. It was the first time in my life I ever found myself wondering if I could do something, could I really be a mom? And not just a mom, but a good mom, a mom who gave her kids all they need? When things were hard in college I could get through it because I had grown up my whole life being told and believing that I could and would graduate from college. But when things are hard in motherhood I struggle to get through it and I doubt that I can do what I need to do. I'm realizing now that I wasn't told or reminded enough that one of the things I could do, one of the things I am fully capable of, is being a mom. I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be, and I just took for granted all those women who had done it before me.

I believe that in our world women have proved that they can do everything a man can do. But there is still one thing a man can never do, something only a woman can do, and ironically it is the one thing that our society feels like its least important for a woman to do. A man can never be a mother. Only a woman can be a mother. Women in our society are so busy trying to prove that they can do and become anything that they no longer value the one thing that only a woman can do. Women are so busy trying to 'become' men that they have forgotten how amazing a woman is simply by being born a girl. A girl should grow up believing that she can do, and be, anything she wants to be. But one of the things she should be given as an option, is the option to be a mom.

I once read a blog post a woman had written about giving birth. About how amazing it is and about how women can still value their bodies after baby. A man wrote a comment on this post that said something like, "Women need to get over themselves. Every women can have a baby. For that matter, every female species on earth can have a baby. It's nothing special." Since it was a man who wrote this comment, of course the response I wanted to immediately give was, "Yep, every woman can do it, every female species on earth can do it, but its the one thing you can never ever do. Oh, and I wish your mom had thought it was 'nothing special' and decided not to have you." Of course I thought a million different angry thoughts about his comment, and I really let it rile me (it still does). But then I realized something, this is the exact misconception that society has about motherhood. Society tells us that because every woman has the potential to be a mom its nothing special. Every girl can do it, so it isn't something she should be praised for. We are told that the more unique what your doing is, the fewer people who are and can do it, the more important it is. How incredibly untrue this is. Its the same lie that says that you shouldn't feel special as a human being because there are 7 billion other human beings on earth right now too.

Just because millions have graduated from high school or college doesn't make it any less special when you do it. Just because millions have run a marathon doesn't mean its not an amazing accomplishment for you. Just because millions have learned to feed themselves, crawl, or do a thousand other basic and ordinary things doesn't make it any less special when I see my son learn to do it. And just because billions of women have been mothers, it doesn't make motherhood any less important.

As women, we often joke about how women rule the world. I don't even take it as a joke, I think its completely true. Women do rule the world. But we don't rule the world because we are presidents of nations, CEO's of companies, brain surgeons, rocket scientists, teachers, dental assistants, secretaries or a thousand other occupations, though women do these things. We rule the world because we shape society through our homes, our neighborhoods, our communities. Even before a woman is the mother of her own children, she has a motherly influence on those around her. Women are just born with the ability to influence fellow women and to greatly influence men. It is through this influential ability that women rule the world. And the first place, and greatest place, where a woman will have the most influence is in her own home.

So, wherever you are in life today, whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, please remember that the relationships you have with others are what will matter most when the sun sets on this mortal life. And please remember that you are awesome, you are amazing, you have insane amounts of potential, and it all stems from being born a girl. Woman are magnificent naturally, we don't have to prove it, we simply have to accept and embrace it. So today, accept yourself, accept your abilities, and go to work to change the world.

A few noteworthy quotes:

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?” - Neal A. Maxwell

“There can be no authentic progress for women without respect for women’s roles in the family.” - Mary Ann Glendon

"In an essay called, “Despising Our Mothers, Despising Ourselves,” one writer found that, despite many victories for women in the last thirty years, the self-respect of American women is at an all time low. Why?  Because we’ve experienced not just a revolt against men’s oppression, but a revolt against women: “Heroic women who dedicated their lives to the welfare and education of children, as mothers, teachers, nurses, social workers, have been marginalized and devalued, made to feel stupid and second rate because they [took] seriously the Judeo-Christian precept that it was better to do for others than for oneself.”  Devaluing motherhood devalues “everything else women do.”  When society devalues “the primary work of most women throughout history,” we tell women “that it is really women who” aren’t worth serious consideration." - Bruce C. Hafen

"Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms." - Neal A. Maxwell

If you want to read more, please read the following articles, they are well worth your time: 

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/the-moral-force-of-women
http://worldcongress.org/wcf2_spkrs/wcf2_hafen.htm
http://www.lds.org/ensign/1978/05/the-women-of-god

Have a beautiful day =)


P.S. This post isn't about being a full time mom vs. a working mom, I'm not gonna get into that here, but I do have a quick thought I want to share here that I got from somewhere in the past few months. The thought is that at the end of my life I want my children to know that they are my greatest accomplishment, my crowning glory, and what I gave my life for, because they are so important. I don't want them to ever doubt this. And they'll know this is true because out of all the things I could do and be in this world, I'm going to choose first to be their mom.

The Magic of Autumn



I used to not be a fan of autumn. Now I'm not sure why I wasn't. I love it now. There is just something magical that seeps into the air when fall time rolls around. *Sigh* It just makes me want to take a deep breath and *sigh* a million times. Love it. Although, I do have to say fall is different in Texas. September and October still completely feel like Summer, but finally in November I started to feel some of that fall feeling in the air. *Deep Breath* *Sigh* Love it!

 

When you have a baby you visit the pumpkin patch right? Well we did. Too bad Enok didn't enjoy it too much. He did like the straw though, but he was pretty grumpy while we were there. At least we're starting to make memories right? Now, it's time for picture overload. And yes, I purposely put Enok in his overalls for the trip to the pumpkin patch. Just seemed like the right thing to do =)

Funny story, we didn't actually buy a pumpkin at the pumpkin patch... we just went and walked around and took pictures. Pumpkins were $3.88 at Kroger and the same size at the pumpkin patch would have been like $20..... Obvious choice for us.

We celebrated Halloween Super Man style this year. And by that I mean we dressed Super Man style. We didn't really do too much for Halloween except Trunk-or-Treat for church. And yes, we did use Enok to get candy =) Oh, and thank you print-on iron-on transfer paper! And 40% off at Hobby Lobby! Homemade shirts on the cheap! Pretty much the easiest Halloween costumes ever and we think we all looked pretty cute together =) Super Mommy, Super Daddy, and Daddy's lil' Sidekick! BTW, the shoes were a random, miraculous find at Ross =)

And I made this batman bib for Enok like forever ago and he never wears it.... but I figured Halloween would be the perfect day. His facial expressions are the best =)

Oh, and I just thought I would add that Enok likes pumpkin chocolate chip cookies =)

Happy Autumn everyone!