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Friday, March 15, 2013
Feel the Guilt
It happened yesterday. Never have I felt so guilty in all my life. No one ever warned me that becoming a mom provides so many opportunities to feel guilty. Enok cannot roll on his back. When we put him on his back his arms and legs flail and kick, but he cannot roll. So yesterday I put him on the couch on his back (because he CANNOT roll when he is on his back), and I go to grab something in the same room about 15ft away. When my back is turned I hear this THUD. In the millisecond before I heard his cry I wondered to myself what in the world that thud could have been. It never even occurred to me before I heard him cry that it was my child rolling off the couch. Because he CANNOT roll when on his back. I turn around, he's on the rug crying, I start crying and I rush over and pick him up. He stops crying, but I just keep crying. Never felt so guilty in my life. When we all get to heaven someday I want to see a replay of how he rolled off the couch, because really, he cannot roll when he's on his back. Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Hercule Poirot, Ms. Marple, I need you now. How did my baby boy roll off the couch?
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:-) Ahh motherhood. No worries, this is only the first of many many mistakes that you will make. And the more mobile they get the more bruised up they become. Just wait til he topples down the stairs or runs too fast and scrapes his knee. Babies are resilient and quick to forgive - now just work on forgiving yourself :-)
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mother - truly. He's adorable and you're doing a great job!
I can imagine the guilt and feel your pain! Without fail, everyone of my children fallen off of my bed. It is a terrible feeling! I think all moms have their moments (or at least that is what I like to tell myself!) Good thing kids are so resilient and forgiving!!!
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