For My Fellow Females

I was raised to believe I could do anything, become anything I wanted to be. I was raised to believe in myself, in my abilities, in my own power, in my own strength. Growing up, I never felt like there were options not available to me because I was girl. I was raised to believe that I could do anything a man can do (occupationally), and I still believe that's true.

While growing up I knew that someday I would go to college, get at least a Bachelor's degree, perhaps a graduate degree, and then I could have an awesome career if that was something I chose to do. I never doubted that these were things I could, and would, do. When I was in college and things were crazy with a million deadlines, difficult concepts I struggled to understand, and exams that pushed my intellectual limits, I never doubted that I could accomplish what I needed to. I never doubted my abilities because my whole life I grew up being told and knowing that I could do these things. I had been ingrained with a strong belief in myself, and in all the things I was capable of doing in the world. Of course, I'm grateful for this belief, because it helped me get through college, and I expect it will help me get through many more things in life as well.

Oddly enough, I now find myself doing the one thing that I grew up knowing I would do, but receiving the least encouragement from society to do and receiving the fewest reminders from those around me that it was something I could do. While growing up I knew that someday I would have children, be a mother, and raise kids. But I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be. For how much selflessness it would demand. It was the first time in my life that I ever completely doubted myself, doubted my abilities. It was the first time in my life I ever found myself wondering if I could do something, could I really be a mom? And not just a mom, but a good mom, a mom who gave her kids all they need? When things were hard in college I could get through it because I had grown up my whole life being told and believing that I could and would graduate from college. But when things are hard in motherhood I struggle to get through it and I doubt that I can do what I need to do. I'm realizing now that I wasn't told or reminded enough that one of the things I could do, one of the things I am fully capable of, is being a mom. I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be, and I just took for granted all those women who had done it before me.

I believe that in our world women have proved that they can do everything a man can do. But there is still one thing a man can never do, something only a woman can do, and ironically it is the one thing that our society feels like its least important for a woman to do. A man can never be a mother. Only a woman can be a mother. Women in our society are so busy trying to prove that they can do and become anything that they no longer value the one thing that only a woman can do. Women are so busy trying to 'become' men that they have forgotten how amazing a woman is simply by being born a girl. A girl should grow up believing that she can do, and be, anything she wants to be. But one of the things she should be given as an option, is the option to be a mom.

I once read a blog post a woman had written about giving birth. About how amazing it is and about how women can still value their bodies after baby. A man wrote a comment on this post that said something like, "Women need to get over themselves. Every women can have a baby. For that matter, every female species on earth can have a baby. It's nothing special." Since it was a man who wrote this comment, of course the response I wanted to immediately give was, "Yep, every woman can do it, every female species on earth can do it, but its the one thing you can never ever do. Oh, and I wish your mom had thought it was 'nothing special' and decided not to have you." Of course I thought a million different angry thoughts about his comment, and I really let it rile me (it still does). But then I realized something, this is the exact misconception that society has about motherhood. Society tells us that because every woman has the potential to be a mom its nothing special. Every girl can do it, so it isn't something she should be praised for. We are told that the more unique what your doing is, the fewer people who are and can do it, the more important it is. How incredibly untrue this is. Its the same lie that says that you shouldn't feel special as a human being because there are 7 billion other human beings on earth right now too.

Just because millions have graduated from high school or college doesn't make it any less special when you do it. Just because millions have run a marathon doesn't mean its not an amazing accomplishment for you. Just because millions have learned to feed themselves, crawl, or do a thousand other basic and ordinary things doesn't make it any less special when I see my son learn to do it. And just because billions of women have been mothers, it doesn't make motherhood any less important.

As women, we often joke about how women rule the world. I don't even take it as a joke, I think its completely true. Women do rule the world. But we don't rule the world because we are presidents of nations, CEO's of companies, brain surgeons, rocket scientists, teachers, dental assistants, secretaries or a thousand other occupations, though women do these things. We rule the world because we shape society through our homes, our neighborhoods, our communities. Even before a woman is the mother of her own children, she has a motherly influence on those around her. Women are just born with the ability to influence fellow women and to greatly influence men. It is through this influential ability that women rule the world. And the first place, and greatest place, where a woman will have the most influence is in her own home.

So, wherever you are in life today, whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, please remember that the relationships you have with others are what will matter most when the sun sets on this mortal life. And please remember that you are awesome, you are amazing, you have insane amounts of potential, and it all stems from being born a girl. Woman are magnificent naturally, we don't have to prove it, we simply have to accept and embrace it. So today, accept yourself, accept your abilities, and go to work to change the world.

A few noteworthy quotes:

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?” - Neal A. Maxwell

“There can be no authentic progress for women without respect for women’s roles in the family.” - Mary Ann Glendon

"In an essay called, “Despising Our Mothers, Despising Ourselves,” one writer found that, despite many victories for women in the last thirty years, the self-respect of American women is at an all time low. Why?  Because we’ve experienced not just a revolt against men’s oppression, but a revolt against women: “Heroic women who dedicated their lives to the welfare and education of children, as mothers, teachers, nurses, social workers, have been marginalized and devalued, made to feel stupid and second rate because they [took] seriously the Judeo-Christian precept that it was better to do for others than for oneself.”  Devaluing motherhood devalues “everything else women do.”  When society devalues “the primary work of most women throughout history,” we tell women “that it is really women who” aren’t worth serious consideration." - Bruce C. Hafen

"Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms." - Neal A. Maxwell

If you want to read more, please read the following articles, they are well worth your time: 

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/the-moral-force-of-women
http://worldcongress.org/wcf2_spkrs/wcf2_hafen.htm
http://www.lds.org/ensign/1978/05/the-women-of-god

Have a beautiful day =)


P.S. This post isn't about being a full time mom vs. a working mom, I'm not gonna get into that here, but I do have a quick thought I want to share here that I got from somewhere in the past few months. The thought is that at the end of my life I want my children to know that they are my greatest accomplishment, my crowning glory, and what I gave my life for, because they are so important. I don't want them to ever doubt this. And they'll know this is true because out of all the things I could do and be in this world, I'm going to choose first to be their mom.

The Magic of Autumn



I used to not be a fan of autumn. Now I'm not sure why I wasn't. I love it now. There is just something magical that seeps into the air when fall time rolls around. *Sigh* It just makes me want to take a deep breath and *sigh* a million times. Love it. Although, I do have to say fall is different in Texas. September and October still completely feel like Summer, but finally in November I started to feel some of that fall feeling in the air. *Deep Breath* *Sigh* Love it!

 

When you have a baby you visit the pumpkin patch right? Well we did. Too bad Enok didn't enjoy it too much. He did like the straw though, but he was pretty grumpy while we were there. At least we're starting to make memories right? Now, it's time for picture overload. And yes, I purposely put Enok in his overalls for the trip to the pumpkin patch. Just seemed like the right thing to do =)

Funny story, we didn't actually buy a pumpkin at the pumpkin patch... we just went and walked around and took pictures. Pumpkins were $3.88 at Kroger and the same size at the pumpkin patch would have been like $20..... Obvious choice for us.

We celebrated Halloween Super Man style this year. And by that I mean we dressed Super Man style. We didn't really do too much for Halloween except Trunk-or-Treat for church. And yes, we did use Enok to get candy =) Oh, and thank you print-on iron-on transfer paper! And 40% off at Hobby Lobby! Homemade shirts on the cheap! Pretty much the easiest Halloween costumes ever and we think we all looked pretty cute together =) Super Mommy, Super Daddy, and Daddy's lil' Sidekick! BTW, the shoes were a random, miraculous find at Ross =)

And I made this batman bib for Enok like forever ago and he never wears it.... but I figured Halloween would be the perfect day. His facial expressions are the best =)

Oh, and I just thought I would add that Enok likes pumpkin chocolate chip cookies =)

Happy Autumn everyone!

8 Favorites at 8 Months

Enok is 8 months old today! I can't believe that in 4 more months he will be one year old! I used to feel like that day would never come, but now it seems like it will come all too soon!

Here are Enok's 8 favorite things at 8 months old:

1. Eating. He loves eating. Baby food, puff snacks, his sippy cup, and his bottle. He can down 8oz of baby food at a time like its no ones business. I only let him do that at dinner though. He eats 3 'solid' food meals a day and then has 2-3 bottles as well. And he always gets some puff snacks, which he can now feed himself. As of this week he will even eat veggie baby food! [He used to only eat fruit/cereal/or 'main dish' baby foods.] And he figured out how to drink from his sippy this past week too! Yay!!! I don't think we will have any trouble weening this boy when it comes time. He hardly ever wants his bottle anymore.

2.Bath time. When Enok was first born he didn't like bath time so much. But we started a bed time routine with him at about 2 months and started giving him a bath before bed every night and soon enough he started to love bath time. And it is definitely still one of his favorites!

3. Outside. Enok LOVES the outdoors. Ever since he was a tiny tiny babe if he was throwing a fit all I would have to do to get him to stop is step outside. This is still the case. It's hilarious. He won't just chill in his carseat if he is inside, but if he's outside he totally will. He won't play in his exersaucer inside anymore, but if its outside he totally will. He stays happy/content outside like a million times longer than he will with the same activity inside. All I know is we gotta get ourselves a yard. And soon.

4. People. Enok likes people. He is a social little fella. And such a flirt. He sure knows how to turn on the charm around the ladies, especially the older ones ;). It's probably cuz he is stuck at home alone with mom for the majority of the time, but he thrives off of being around other kids. And he loves all attention to be on him. He also loves babbling. I'm hoping he stays outgoing and doesn't turn shy.

5. Paper/Plastic. He likes to crinkle it. And try to eat it. He has eaten some paper before I could stop him before. Only a little bit though. Whenever we get the newspaper ads in the mail I let him play with them before we toss them and he has a ball. And don't worry, playing with plastic bags is closely supervised, he just loves it so much I can't say no!

6. Laughing with mom & dad. It seems like every day there is some new thing that he thinks is hilarious. And if you can figure out what it is he will just laugh and laugh and laugh. And lots of times if I just start randomly laughing he just starts laughing too. It's hilarious.

7. Standing. He loves to stand. Sometimes I have to force him to sit down. He hasn't started standing and holding on to objects yet, he just holds onto me when he stands. Hence me having to force him to sit so that I don't just have to hold him standing all the time.

8. New objects. All new objects are infinitely fascinating. Anything that he hasn't seen before he wants to touch and taste. Remote controls, straps on bags, empty plastic containers, my hairbrush, the cord hanging from our ceiling fan to turn the light on/off, a ruler, basically anything. He gets bored of his toys a little too fast these days...

I feel like Enok has grown and developed so much in the past two months especially. He is infinitely easier/more managable now than he was four months ago. He plays by himself quite a bit, he feeds himself his bottle and puff snacks, and he has figured out how to deal with teething a little better. Four months ago he just wanted to be held all the time. Unless he was outside, then I could put him down.  And sleeping and naps are so great now too. He generally sleeps from 7pm-7am (sometimes 6am) and he used to wake up once a night, but recently he hasn't been any more. And he takes 2 good naps a day. And when we put him down we just lay him in his crib and leave, for bedtime he never cries, but at naps he will cry for 5 minutes about half of the time. But he is getting better at going to sleep for naps too.

There are some things he isn't doing that I thought he would be doing by 8 months. He isn't crawling, pulling himself up on things, or pushing himself up from laying down to a sitting position. He does try to climb onto things, but can't really manage it yet. I figure these things will come when they come, and for now I will enjoy the relative safety he lives in since he cant move himself around too much yet.

I sure do love my little man.

I love his huge shadow =)